Berani Keluar dari Zona Nyaman (lagi)?

Kangen juga nulis pake bahasa Indonesia. Belakangan ini gw jadi banyak merenung. Ada ketakutan-ketakutan yang belakangan hilang timbul yang membuat gw flashback, tapi gw (masih) ga bisa menemukan keberanian yang sama.

Gw flashback ke masa 4 tahun lalu. Sebelum gw berangkat ke Jerman. Kenapa akhirnya gw berani memutuskan untuk kuliah jauh bgt dari rumah. Kenapa, kenapa, kenapa? (dan gw ga inget). Sampe 4 tahun yang lalu, gw aktif bgt di gereja, terutama di misdinar. Buat gw, misdinar itu keluarga kedua gw. Di situ dulu gw bener-bener merasa nyaman. Dan kalo lw udah nyaman, pasti lw ga mau segala sesuatunya berubah kan? Kalo gw inget-inget, dulu ketua-ketua gw tiba2 pada sibuk kuliah, jauh2 (ok, definisi jauh: depok n bandung-bekasi, hehehe), yg udah pada kuliah, jd jarang punya waktu lg buat misdinar atau jarang mau sibuk lagi sm misdinar. Tiba-tiba, gw merasa sepiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sesepi-sepinya. Gw berpikir "apa mereka ga merasa ini nyaman, seperti gw merasa ini nyaman? kenapa mereka ga mau, keep things just like the old days?" Saat itu gw berpikir, "the world changed, they changed, if they don't wanna stay, then I should also be the part of the change and nobody can stop me". Dari situ, I made myself new record of the definition of "far".

Sekarang gw lg di fase yang sama (lagi). Waktu gw lg ngerjain skripsi gw di labor, gw pengeeenn banget bisa kerja di labor itu lagi kalo gw udah selese. I find the people so warm hearted. I looked at each, just like how they are. Dengan personality mereka masing-masing, gw menganggap, satu labor gw itu sebagai satu paket. Jadi kalo ada yg kluar itu, kayak paket yang kurang, paket yang bolong. Nah jadi ceritanya, di labor gw ini lagi banyak pergantian personal. Okelah, student hampir setiap semester ada yg masuk ada yg kluar. Tapi ini mitarbeiternya (pegawainya) cing! Mulai dari partner dansa gw, temen baiknya, temen gw yg selalu bantuin gw, bentar lg temen seband gw. (semoga ga lebih banyak lg). Gw jadi bingung rasanya mau kerja di tempat ini apa ga. Emang sih sementara jadi lg banyak lowongan kosong walaupun belum ada proyek (which means ga ada kerjaan), tapi kalo sabar, pasti ada chancenya kerja di situ karena itungannya bukan orang baru. Di sisi lain, rasanya ada yg aneh, seolah-olah nempatin tempat orang yang lw pernah sayangin. Ya ga sih? Dari sini gw mulai berpikir lagi "will I also be the part of change? Pergi jauh lagi"

Sempet deh kepikiran buat melancong lagi, mgkn ke Belgia, Dublin, US. Iya banget. Rasanya gampang bgt waktu itu ngayalnya ya. Band gw, huh dulu sih bodo amat. Waktu itu pikiran gw, ya smpe konser pertama aja paling jadi tamu (feature of the band gitu lah). Sampe pada suatu malam, gw dapet SMS dari drummer band gw, 11 hari sebelum ultah gw. Dia bilang begini, "Gw pgn bilang ini sebelum terlambat, ....  Sejak kita bareng di band, kita sadar, kalau kita terikat secara emosional. Dlm bahasa Jerman istilahnya 'eine Bande' (sebuah ikatan) kepada sesuatu yang ga bisa dipisahkan. Cuma beda sedikit sm bahasa Inggris, tapi maknanya jauh lebih dalam. Stay with us, krn kamu bagian dari ikatan itu". Gw terenyuh. Sejak itu gw bener-bener jatuh cinta sama band gw. Gw bener2 merasakan, ini ikatan batin kita emang kuat ya. Sampe beberapa hari sebelum gw berlibur ke Indo, anggota band gw (yg paling tua) memutuskan keluar dari band, sampai waktu yg tidak bisa ditentukan. Alasannya masalah pekerjaan yg terlalu padat (di FH). Untungnya, band gw tidak bernasib seperti band gw yg satunya lagi, yg skrg bisa dibilang bubar jalan. Kita berusaha mengisi kekosongan. Coba sana coba sini. Dan sejauh ini, gw blm pernah ada di band yg seperti ini. Ikatan kita jadi semakin kuat. Dan gw ga mau menjadi orang selanjutnya yg mesti meninggalkan band yg sedang berusaha bangkit lg ini (itu namanya bikin repot).

Sejak itu, ini jadi kekhawatiran dan ketakutan terbesar gw. Gw cuma berpikir gimana caranya buat bisa dapet kerja atau master, yang penting gw bisa at least 2 minggu sekali pendeln ke Jülich (syukur-syukur tiap minggu)supaya gw ttp bisa main di band ini. Hari-hari gw jadi makin galau, mengingat gw cuma dapet rejection doang dan master pilihannya (tetep) jauh dari Jülich (yang gw pengen). Gw cm ga mau kuliah di Jülich, krn gw ga mau belajar itu lagi itu lagi. Tapi pilihannya jauh2 bgt.. Kalo ke Oldenburg, pendeln udah pasti ga murah dan lama bgt perjalanannya. Berapa lama gw akan bertahan pendeln ky gtu..

Gw berharap somehow, gw bisa mendapat kekuatan yang dulu gw punya waktu gw di Sanur. Bangun jam 4, berangkat sekolah jam 5, smpe rumah bisa jam 18 atau 19 (terutama pas kelas XII, bisa tiap hari kyna gini). Plus kalo pun emang harus pergi, gw bisa punya keberanian yang sama ky waktu dulu gw cabs ke Jerman.

Oh gees, gw bener-bener ga tau gimana harus memutuskan. Gw hanya berharap pada mukjizat......

Marriage

I think I'm gonna make time again sharing something that suddenly popped out of my mind. This came out actually from the conversation between me and Ega. Both of us have usually different mind but the funny thing that we can just share it with each other even we were on the street. Well, we talked in Indonesian, so basically almost nobody understood us, but this time I would like to share it in English, so everybody would be able to read und understand.

When we come to the topic "Marriage" is just a huge huge thing to be discuss without end. Single women (including me) are worried about marriage. It's something that essential though theoretical as long as one is not yet married.

Personally, I'm grateful to be born in a catholic family. And one of the reason I have been kept on this religion is the gospel "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate". I believe basically every religion doesn't expect or allow a divorce, right? But maybe (again, this is subjective) Catholic has the most complicated procedure for those who are wishing to get divorce.

I have the principle that marriage is one in a lifetime. Some people say, it's allowed to get divorce in case of betrayal or affair or anything else. When I and Ega came up to discuss this, it was going to be hard, because Ega is for and I'm against. Well, again, this is theoretical, we haven't been in a marriage, but we both just learned from our parents and from what life has showed us.

We learned that marriage life is something private. You're not anymore two, but one. It's basically like how you behave even in normal life. It's like if you can smile through the whole day so that everyone thinks that you're fine but you're actually not. Marriage is about solving problem between you, trusting and being trustable and faithful. If you've ever had a long happy marriage, there's no reason for the other people to know that you're having problems with your husband/wife.

Marriage is once in a lifetime, is about being together til death tears you apart.

Nothing is easy and smoothing going on in this world. So does marriage. Get divorce easily like the celebrities did, is totally a kind of "giving up" or "escaping from difficulties" Man, there's nothing easy in this world. People are learning from life itself. Youth are being mature, from how they handle with problems and not escaping from reality.

Like you try to make a good impression of yourself in front of people, I think, that's also valid for marriage life. Give people a good impression of you as a pair and don't tell them about your badness or weakness.
Because you're not anymore two, but one. People will see you as one also. So, if you tell them your husband's /wife's badness or weakness, you are telling them your badness.

I believe that getting married is just like another step of life. It's beautiful if you can see, realize and be grateful for that :)

Der Interkulturelle Begegnungstag

(English: The intercultural meeting).

Jülich, 27. Oktober 2012. Learn indonesian and german culture through the eyes of the native. That was the theme of day. Three days ago I was still nervous thinking of the preparation for this big day, 85% thinking of the event, 15% of something else that's gonna happen in the event (if you know what I mean).But we managed it. The presentation from Lilian was awesome, we started 30 minutes late and the whole presentation took much longer than we thought, the audience loved it, and lots of facts presented which have made the audience agape. I find it though a bit embarassing that it had been stated several times that indonesians are not on time, since I've tried my best to be on time (since I live in Germany) :P However, I should agree with those good and bad facts of indonesian behaviors :) People were then invited to taste the indonesian "jajanan pasar"(snacks) like pisang aroma(I gotta find this again in December!), lumpia ayam,siomay goreng, risoles, bakwan, bolu kukus, pisang goreng. Then the workshop began, Darwin started with the angklung workshop. It was too fast I guess, I didn't know why.  I thought it's gonna be at least 30 minutes. But he did that good (we've practice on Friday night, gees!) and the audience enjoyed a lot, because they found out that it was easy and fun to play. Varun from India said that angklung is the first music instrument that he can play in his life :D After a short break came the saman workshop. I started with some introduction, then we showed the dance, taught the audience one kind of movement. They love it! We got even request to dance once more :)

For myself, I even learned lots of thing. I still have to learn more to make decisions. I can't generalize indonesian as unreliable, because those who have worked with me til the end of the day are people whom I can trust. The event was also really important, due to the fact that that was informal "proof", that I can lead people on my way, and not on somebody's way leading (which sometimes made me trully sick, because they pushed me to be like them and kinda convinced that with my way of leading people, I'm going to be a good leader). I realize that mine is not perfect. I believe as well, that  those people have learned so much in their life, and have never been a great leader that instantly, so please just let me learn from my mistakes and let me try to fix it rather than telling not to do this and that,which just made me scared to make my first step.

Nevertheless, I have to thank some people: Nandea Dewanta and Darwin Jahja, for all the time, energy and big big help. I couldn't do all the stuff on my own, I'm nothing without your help. Big big thanks! Lilian for the really nice presentation and for bringing up the mood of the public, especially  the ideas to make this day happened! KMKI to have lent me the angklungs. Alexander Peters to have helped a lot with stuffs and transporting the angklung to FH and from FH. Barbara Biel who trusted me to organize the day. Intan and Ola who helped with cooking.Saman and angklung-team: Nandea, Darwin, Aryanti, Ai, Aya, Intan,Ola, TR, Boma, Wicak. Mbak Erna, Tante Herni and Mbak Ira for preparing the foods. Ka Rizky for designing the pretty poster. I also like to thank everybody who came yesterday. I really appreciate it :) You made my day :D

For more photos you can find it here: http://www.ksgjuelich.de/2012/10/bilder-vom-interkulturellen-begegnungstag/

The video is as special thanks to Boedi :)

Licht sein für die Anderen

Pfingsten ist gerade vorbei. Für sie, die Bedeutung von Pfingsten nicht verstehen: Pfingsten ist eine Feier in der katholischen Tradition, wann die Folger Jesu den heiligen Geist empfingen. Es wurde erzählt,dass sie danach in vielen Sprachen sprechen konnten und sie trotz unterschiedlicher Sprachen einander verstehen konnten.

Ich glaube auch an den Gott und den heiligen Geist. Ich glaube, wer in seinem Herzen den heiligen Geist empfangen würde, erleuchtert seine Umgebung mit Frohlichkeiten und mit Segen. Die Frage ist, ob das realisierbar ist.

Meine Antwort ist einfach ja. Wodurch?

Durch Taten.

Man muss nicht perfekt sein. Aber was man tut, meiner Meinung nach, sollte vom Herzen kommen.

Gestern spielten ein paar Freunde und ich gemeinsam Beachvolleyball im Solarcampus. Bin ich gut in Ballspielen? Absolut nicht. Bin überhaupt kein Sporttyp. Ich mache es nur, um Spaß zu haben. Eine Freundin redete mit mir während der Pause. Sie sagte, dass sie wegen mir kam. Ich fragte mich wieso, da ich sie nicht eingeladen habe.

Ihre Antwort war überraschend:
"Du wohnst ziemlich weit, aber du kommst. Du bist sehr aktiv, du machst viel. Ich werde auch wie du sein. Du bist mir ein Vorbild"

Ich hätte nie gedacht, dass ich den Anderen ein Vorbild sein kann :)

Danke Zhen, you made my day :))

Smartphone dan Falsafah Hidup

Hi2, saya mau share sedikit nih tentang judul di atas. Barang yang sekarang sedang amat sangat ngetrend terutama di kalangan pelajar dan masyarakat Indonesia. dan super duper membuat iri.

Kenapa saya menulis tentang ini? Simpel saja, karena mama saya membelikan saya smartphone sebagai kado natal. Barangnya belum nyampe sih sebenarnya. Masih tunggu adik saya datang dulu ke sini. Pas mama saya cerita, saya cuma diam. Ga tau mau seneng apa ga. Cenderung ga seneng sih. Kalau ga salah, kurang lebih reaksinya kayak gini:

"Kurang kerjaan,ngapain kok beli smartphone?" #kurang ajar ya. hehehe

Waktu itu ada Ega di rumah, Ega denger deh otomatis. Saya langsung gak enak, terus bilang makasih sama mami *sudah layak dan sepantasnya*

Seneng sih dibeliin HP baru, canggih pula. Mungkin nyokap udah stress gara-gara nomor saya yang sekarang agak susah dihubungi, atau ga bisa dihubungi sama sekali. Oh ya, saking gak enaknya sama Ega, saya jadi cerita ke dia pas udah selesai skype sama mama:

"Ega, sori ya kalau lw denger gw kayak orang yang ga tau berterima kasih gara-gara dikasih smartphone. Bukannya ga berterima kasih, tapi gw ngerasa kok gw sebenernya ga perlu-perlu amat punya smartphone"

Ega bilang: "yaelah Dit, lw anggap aja itu sebagai tanda cinta bokap nyokap lw buat lw. Jangan protes lah"

Dita lanjutin: "Gw lebih senang dikasih yang lain mungkin, Ga. Itu boros banget ya nyokap beli smart phone sampe 3 sekaligus gitu. Apa-apaan coba. Mendingan ditabung buat hal-hal yang lain"

Ega: "misalnya?"

Dita : "yah kan taun depan mau ke sini, kenapa ga ditabung aja?"

Ega: "yah lw mintanya yang lebih mahal. gelo. hahaha. Itu kan tanda cinta bokap nyokap buat lw, ya mungkin dengan smartphone. terima aja."

Dita: "mmmh yah bukan gitu. gimana ya, Ga? Gw kok yakin nyokap gw beliin gw smartphone gara-gara adik gw minta. Ega, gw punya prinsip: bokap nyokap gw boleh kaya, tapi bukan gw yang kaya. Gw bukan orang yang mau memanfaatkan kekayaan bokap nyokap untuk mendapatkan apa yang gw mau. Bokap gw kaya, karena dia kerja keras, merintis semuanya dari awal. Gw dan adik gw udah selayaknya tau, kayak apa lamanya dan susahnya merintis karier. Gw pengen punya smartphone, tapi kalau gw bisa beli sendiri. Bukan dari uang bokap. Gw selama ini berusaha memberi teladan ke adik gw untuk hidup hemat dan ga perlu beli barang-barang branded. Kalau nyokap gw sekarang beliin smartphone, yah sama aja boong, Ga. Gagal rasanya."

Ega: "Iya Dit, gw juga ngasih contoh kaya gtu ke adik gw.. tapi susah juga ya... Udah lah Dit, disyukur aja smartphonenya. Tanda cinta tuh"

Dita: "Gw ada ketakutan, Ga, kalau sebelum adik gw lulus bokap gw udah musti pensiun dini, gara-gara pabrik ditutup. Menurut gw, kalau cinta, ga perlu beliin barang-barang mahal kaya gtu, gw juga udah tau kok mereka cinta sama gw. Kan bisa beliin yang lain. Lagian menurut gw, kehadiran orang tua gw jauh lebih berharga daripada barang-barang itu."

Saya ga ingin orang tua saya merasa dengan membelikan smartphone maka cukup untuk menghibur saya di negeri orang ini. Ga mungkin lah. Buat gw, antara mereka selalu ada buat gw, walaupun jauh udah lebih dari cukup. Kado yang berarti banget buat saya itu bahwa mereka ada di samping saya. Sejauh ini dukungan untuk saya, telpon, dan skype jauh lebih berarti. Baik. Anggaplah kado smartphone ini sebagai ungkapan galau nyokap yang saya tinggal kelamaan dan akan ditinggal juga sama adik saya. :) #pindah dong mi :p Besok-besok ga perlu ya mi, beliin barang-barang macam itu. Sebenarnya waktu saya ulang tahun bulan Desember kemarin, saya ingin sekali mama, papa datang kasih surprise, ternyata tidak. hahaha. Mami papi udah kaya, dita juga mau belajar jadi kaya. Sama, merintis semuanya dari nol :) ga ada yang instan di dunia ini.