Tahu Diri

Kenapa sedih banget ya dengerin lagu ini.... :(

Hai selamat bertemu lagi. Aku sudah lama menghindarimu

Sialku lah kau ada di sini

Sungguh tak mudah bagiku
Rasanya tak ingin bernafas lagi
Tegak berdiri di depanmu kini
Sakitnya menusuki jantung ini melawan cinta yang ada di hati

Dan upayaku tahu diri tak slamanya berhasil, 
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi

Bye, selamat berpisah lagi
Meski masih ingin memandangimu
Lebih baik kau tiada di sini
Sungguh tak mudah bagiku 
Menghentikan segala khayalan gila jika kau ada 
dan ku cuma bisa, meradang menjadi yang di sisimu
Membenci nasibku yang tak berubah

Dan upayaku tahu diri tak slamanya berhasil, 
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi

Berkali-kali kau berkata cinta tapi tak bisa
berkali-kali ku telah berjanji menyerah

Dan upaya ku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasilDan upaya ku tahu diri tak selamanya berhasil
‘pabila kau muncul terus begini
Tanpa pernah kita bisa bersama
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah
Pergilah, menghilang sajalah lagi

Papa Said...,

I was on skype again with my parents and the discussion always ends up like this:

Papa: "How much did you spend for the ticket back home?"

Me   : " xxx €, Pap."

Papa: "I'll give you back when you're here, okay?"

Me  :  "You really don't have to worry about the money, I still have a lot from you, and it's enough for at least 6 months. It was just a pity that the application for my FH-scholarship was rejected again."

Papa: "You applied for FH-scholarship?"

Me  : "Yeah, like last year, still end up in the same way"

Papa: "Why was it rejected?"

Me  : "I don't know, maybe I'm not good enough"

Papa: "How good is your score now?"

Me  : "Well, I've counted.. I have about 1,9......."

Papa: "Almost 2. Ha (no wonder), that's not good. How can you get any job there (or here) with that score. You should at least get not worse than 1,5"

I'm almost dead to hear this.

(My papi is comparing my score with indonesian IPK-System and with my brother's score)

Der Interkulturelle Begegnungstag

(English: The intercultural meeting).

Jülich, 27. Oktober 2012. Learn indonesian and german culture through the eyes of the native. That was the theme of day. Three days ago I was still nervous thinking of the preparation for this big day, 85% thinking of the event, 15% of something else that's gonna happen in the event (if you know what I mean).But we managed it. The presentation from Lilian was awesome, we started 30 minutes late and the whole presentation took much longer than we thought, the audience loved it, and lots of facts presented which have made the audience agape. I find it though a bit embarassing that it had been stated several times that indonesians are not on time, since I've tried my best to be on time (since I live in Germany) :P However, I should agree with those good and bad facts of indonesian behaviors :) People were then invited to taste the indonesian "jajanan pasar"(snacks) like pisang aroma(I gotta find this again in December!), lumpia ayam,siomay goreng, risoles, bakwan, bolu kukus, pisang goreng. Then the workshop began, Darwin started with the angklung workshop. It was too fast I guess, I didn't know why.  I thought it's gonna be at least 30 minutes. But he did that good (we've practice on Friday night, gees!) and the audience enjoyed a lot, because they found out that it was easy and fun to play. Varun from India said that angklung is the first music instrument that he can play in his life :D After a short break came the saman workshop. I started with some introduction, then we showed the dance, taught the audience one kind of movement. They love it! We got even request to dance once more :)

For myself, I even learned lots of thing. I still have to learn more to make decisions. I can't generalize indonesian as unreliable, because those who have worked with me til the end of the day are people whom I can trust. The event was also really important, due to the fact that that was informal "proof", that I can lead people on my way, and not on somebody's way leading (which sometimes made me trully sick, because they pushed me to be like them and kinda convinced that with my way of leading people, I'm going to be a good leader). I realize that mine is not perfect. I believe as well, that  those people have learned so much in their life, and have never been a great leader that instantly, so please just let me learn from my mistakes and let me try to fix it rather than telling not to do this and that,which just made me scared to make my first step.

Nevertheless, I have to thank some people: Nandea Dewanta and Darwin Jahja, for all the time, energy and big big help. I couldn't do all the stuff on my own, I'm nothing without your help. Big big thanks! Lilian for the really nice presentation and for bringing up the mood of the public, especially  the ideas to make this day happened! KMKI to have lent me the angklungs. Alexander Peters to have helped a lot with stuffs and transporting the angklung to FH and from FH. Barbara Biel who trusted me to organize the day. Intan and Ola who helped with cooking.Saman and angklung-team: Nandea, Darwin, Aryanti, Ai, Aya, Intan,Ola, TR, Boma, Wicak. Mbak Erna, Tante Herni and Mbak Ira for preparing the foods. Ka Rizky for designing the pretty poster. I also like to thank everybody who came yesterday. I really appreciate it :) You made my day :D

For more photos you can find it here: http://www.ksgjuelich.de/2012/10/bilder-vom-interkulturellen-begegnungstag/

The video is as special thanks to Boedi :)

Christi's Farewell

Lunch at chinesische Mauer, which was crazily EXPENSIVE! But we had -thanks God- a good day, good company, good lunch, good weather and good farewell photos.

 Freshman generations: 

Nandea (2010), Dita (2009), Christi (2008), William (2011), Darwin (2011)

Die Frage ist, ob ich das schaffe..

Was bleibt noch übrig...
wenn ich ihn schon anderthalb Jahr mag, aber er kennt mich mit Namen sogar noch nicht mal ein Jahr
wenn er tatsächlich alle Frauen ohne Auto nach Hause mitnimmt
wenn er gar nichts merkt, wie ich ihn ganz anders behandelt
wenn er keine Frau haben möchte
wenn er gar nichts merkt, weil ich ihm zu jung wäre
wenn er nie für mich da ist.. ?

dass er schon mein Leben mal bünter gemacht hat,
dass er eine große Rolle beim Gitarrenspielen spielt,
war was schönes.

Aber mein Leben muss weitergehen.
Ich muss ihn vergessen.
Ich halte noch ein Semester durch, dann haue ich von Jülich ab.

Und jetzt kommt der Titel

Book Review: Negeri 5 Menara

This is the first book I finished this year (horrible me), after I read half biography of Merry Riana. Authored by Ahmad Fuadi, from West Sumatra, reporter of TEMPO Magazine as he dreamt, got 8 scholarships in several countries in Europe and the US.

My subjective rate is 8 from 10. This novel has some similarities to Andrea Hirata's novel "Laskar Pelangi". The strength of both book is they used celestial objects in their novel : rainbow and cloud. The friendship part is similar, the most genius people can't continue their school for a family reason. The idea of the story is actually not difficult as it is actually like his diary, but I really appreciate his effort to recall the memories which have past more than 20 years and bring it all into inspirative writing without patronizing people. I'm gonna predicate this novel as the most honest novel ever! Love it!

In my opinion, most of alumni will be -of course- proud of their ex-high school. They will say, "my school was the best high school ever". They can't actually judge something like that, just as simple because they had never gone to another school for the same level. But what I would say here is I like the school described by Ahmad Fuadi. It's Pondok Modern Gontor, by the way.

I'm unfortunately a female and catholic, to be honest I've never heard about this kind of school exists in Indonesia. But I really like the concept of the school, how the school educates the students. It is a full-time education. I was surprised that they're really not allowed to speak Indonesian. Only Arabic and English. I love the ideas about jasus, bulil alil, language comittee, security comittee, speech day, shaolin punishment, Class Six Show and the magic spell "man jadda wajana" (means: Everybody who makes every effort,will be success). Basically the students theirselves play a great role for the success of the school through participating in activities, obeying rules, respecting people,  learning hard, being a leader and an example for the younger.  I love his story about friendship (the saddest part of farewell has brought the novel to the fullest), Tyson and being punished, accepting something against his dream, dreaming, grabbing chances, believing. Even most of the homilies has inspired me!

So many things can be picked from the novels. Personally I learn not to stop dreaming. I learn to find out what I really want, listen what my heart desires, reach it, grab it with the help of God. Eventhough it's gonna take years, as it said before "man jadda wajana". If there is a will, there is a way :) Most important that the novel has opened my mind about moslem. I believe, it's gonna be pretty nice and peaceful if so many indonesian are like that. I can't wait to read the second part of this trilogy. Just a little note from me: if you're not a moslem and don't speak arabic, try to notice all noted arabic words, because the explanation of those words will not be repeated for the second time. Happy reading, people :)

Galau Perkuliahan

Baru kali ini gw merasa kuliah lebih mengkhawatirkan daripada perjodohan. Masuk semester 5 itu bener2 dihantui banyak perasaan: senang, sedih dan galau. Hahah. Galau? warum?

Iya lah, gila ya ini semester blm mulai, gw dihantui ketakutan-ketakutan ga dapet Praktikumstelle yang pas dan bisa buat nulis Bachelorarbeit. Galau pertama. Si Herr Sieger jg ga ada kabar buat Hilfskraftnya. Galau kedua. Acara tgl 27 Oktober yang butuh konsentrasi lebih. KMKI yang harus diurus, at least 1 bln sekali. Galau ketiga dan keempat. Hadeeuuuhh.. Sebenernya gw cemas sih, karena gw merasa kecil, merasa ga mampu memasuki dunia kerja. Gawat banget.

Di tengah kegalauan ini, selalu aja ada jalan untuk kembali kepada Dia yang di atas. Dia yang maha pengatur. Misalnya nih, tiba2 ada Dewi yang nyapa di whatsapp buat ngrutinin rosario lg. Trus ada Boedi yang ingetin ttg segala2nya terutama masalah Einzelkämpferin, bgmn mengkoordinir ini itu. Baik ya Tuhan, aku masih punya temen2 yg walaupun jauh, tp masih saling support. Kalo mereka2 ini ada deket sini, Himmel abis deh bakalan :)

By the way, one of my good friends in Don Bosco, Roberta is leaving Holland this weekend. and I feel really bad that I can't be on her farewell party :( Bye-bye, Roberta! I've promised myself to see you again :') Good luck for your future life, sweetie!

I'll miss you, Robertini!!

And today I have to say "Happy Birthday" to YULIA FRANSISCA (Oct 3rd) and CORNELIUS SWIYANTO (Oct 4th)..! Have a great great birthday. May you reach everything what your heart desires. Yulia, I'll see you soon, ha? Cornel, come back here soon please, orelse I'll escape also to Dublin :P